WBKE – Episode 34: When I Was Your Age – Part One

Hey guys, this week we’re rejoined by my (Will’s) dad, Richard Rogers, for a discussion about his childhood. We find out where he grew up,  when he grew up, and who he grew up with. The story involves discussions of racism (listener discretion advised), religions, and an absurdly unfortunate frog. Listen to it, it’s awesome. Also, listen to the first show my dad was one, or re-listen…Either way, you’ll love it: WBKE – Episode 15:  How I Lived My Life by Lying and Fighting.
SO ANYWAY:

Click here to listen! Or find it on iTunes or Stitcher!

Also, make sure you like our Facebook Page, follow our Twitter accounts: @WillRogers2000 and @BobbyKoester, and send comments/questions to us at WillAndBobby@gmail.com!

If you enjoy the show, all we ask it that you help spread the word about it!

When I Was Your Age – Part Two next week!

The Worst Movie Ever Written

Click here to listen. It’s Wednesday, and that means Will and Bobby are keeping our promise on producing new content for you all! These Wednesday shows are going to be a little different from our normal menutia. This week, we’re giving everyone out there a quick read through of The Worst Movie Ever Written. It was e-mailed to us, and immediately we loved it so much we wanted to share it with you all.

If you are wondering what the hell is going on, listen to episode 33 and find out a few hints. Or just listen to this show, then listen to 33, and then listen to all the others.

As always, facebook us and find me on instagram.

This is awesome.

WBKE – Episode 33: The Future of Will and Bobby

This episode is the most important thing in the world. It represents the future. Change. Experimentation. Stupidity. Maybe we’ll be sued.
Max Rose joins us on the show this week for a conversation covering information about him, some of which is confusing, we read a listener’s letter (booya!), and eventually we start talking about some new projects Bobby and I are working on. Projects that will hopefully be online soon. We also discuss something fucking weird that we’re putting online on Wednesday. It may or may not be pulled after it’s put up, so keep your eyes peeled, and get it as soon as possible. Wednesday. Remember. It’s really fucking funny and weird.

Anyway, I know I’ve piqued your interest, so enough of this, just:

Click here to listen from your browser, or get it on iTunes/Stitcher!

Click here go to our iTunes page, like our Facebook page, follow Bobby (@BobbyKoester) or me (@WillRogers2000) on Twitter, maybe donate, and email comments/questions/suggestions or offers to get involved with us to WillAndBobby@gmail.com!

No matter what, please help pass on the word about our goofy bullshit. Especially if you like it!

I’m excited. We’re working on funny stuff for you guys!

Episode 34 next week!

Thanks again, Reddit!

Well, after years of falling down various youtube rabbit holes, after years of realizing it’s 3:00 am and I’ve been watching other people play video games for hours, after violently waking up to find a seemingly endless supply of Chinese food caked to my entire body which in turn has been caked to the couch, I’ve finally made my way over to the Legend of Zelda page on Reddit.
That being said, I”ve found some real beauties. As apparent here, when asked whether or not one could conquer the quest in Ocarina of Time (which is to stop while you still can) given one’s current physical condition, one adult child said he “…would probably just end up chilling with Gorons or Zoras the whole time.” This is fantastic news, everyone. Finally, we can rest assured that someone out there other than William wants to chill with Gorons or Zoras the whole time. View the full thread here, but remember: you can never come baaaaaack.

I hate everything.

Scary Story Time: August 2012

Hey guys, I know I’m a day late with this month’s Scary Story Time, but deal with it, I’ve been globe trotting. Well…I flew to Oregon. As a matter of fact, it was a horror story in and of itself, one which I’ll be writing about in the next few days. But that’s not why you’re here. This is:
Quick disclaimer: I’m a really big fan of horror movies and scary stories. Recently I’ve been finding a lot of interesting little scary stories written anonymously by people on the internet, so I decided to start sharing some of the ones I like. You should know, before you read on, that I did not write any of these stories, unless otherwise noted. You should also know that I won’t always be posting stories that I enjoy 100%. There could be a ten-page story that I post because I like one sentence of it. In that case, I assume I’ll explain why I posted horse-shit and what merit I see in it. Sometimes, I’ll post “scary” stories that I hate, think are stupid, or maybe even funny. But more than that, you should really know that some of these stories may be somewhat graphic, so just steel yourself for anything, especially poor spelling and grammar (I don’t edit these stories). No matter what, though, I hope you enjoy them too, and if you know any stories or sources, please share them with me. Also, if you have any requests, just ask, I have a huge archive of this stuff!

So without much further ado, I’m going to post three stories this month, because each one is very short. These particular stories are interesting though, because they’re among the first anonymously written scary stories I ever saw online. They’re the stories that got me interested in scouring the internet for more. So lets get to it:

Don’t Worry About It

You’re slowly stirred awake by the distant ringing as the phone beside your bed pulls you out of your dreams. Your thoughts gather themselves and you groan, reaching over to answer.
As soon as you place the phone to your ear, you’re greeted by the background noise consisting of twisted screams. There were people in agonizing pain begging for help or death, not that the interference allows you to hear any individual voice clearly enough.
“Get out of the house now!”
The call ends abruptly after what you could have sworn was a voice from closer to you than on the other end. You shift yourself to the side of the bed, sighing while rubbing your eyes. A call this startling and this early in the morning would keep you awake.
Your wife shuffles to the side, apparently also woken by the call. She wraps her arms around you and gives a light kiss on the neck.
“Don’t worry about it.” Her half-asleep mumble calms you down somewhat.
Just as you’re about to place the phone down, it rings again. You fumble slightly and drop it. Instead, you feel your wife’s arms tighten around you, preventing you from leaning forward.
It’s then you notice a subtle difference between the arms around you and the familiarity of your wife’s.
“He’s too late to save you anyway.”

The End

Spooky. That one might seem stupid to you, but it kind of gets me. No matter what, I think we’ll all agree that this next one is fucking completely stupid:

Hungry Snake

There was a couple from Florida who owned a python. It was a very large snake and they’ve had it for a while so they did not put it in a cage and they let it be free in the house. The couple started to become concerned when the snake stopped eating. All the snake would do is lay around and occasionally it would slither onto their bed and stretch its body out.
They finally decided to take the snake to the veterinarian because it would not eat anything, even its favorite meals. They doctor did a thorough exam and turned to the couple and said: “You need to get rid of this snake immediately. It has been refusing his food because it’s getting ready to eat you. When it stretches out he’s measuring how tall you are and if he can fit you in his body.”

The End

See? It’s definitely one of the dumbest scary stories I’ve posted so far, but it follows a rule of scary stories that I really like. I love it when a scary story ends with a character suddenly revealing an obvious truth. I’ve posted stories before that end with a character basically saying: GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! THE THING YOU THOUGHT WAS HARMLESS IS DEFINITELY NOT! So do with that what you will. Anyway, I’ll end now with a legitimately solid story:

The Bells

Two young girls were best friends. One day they were chatting casually and the conversation turned unexpectedly to the afterlife, wondering if there was such a thing. So, they made a little promise, whoever goes first would ring a bell from the other side to tell the other. They then bought a pair of bells.

Several years later, one of them died in a traffic accident. In the memorial service, faint bell sounds were heard. The friend was happy that she remembered her promise, and that there is someplace they might meet again someday.

… Then the sound became feverish as if the ringer was in a panic.

The End

Kaboom. What a nice little story. It’s clever and atmospheric and just overall well done. It’s one of the stories that I think Bobby would really like. Because he basically hates all of these.

Anyway, I think that’s it for this month’s Scary Story Time, so let me just tease you with a fun idea I had. Bobby and I are going to be spreading out into a new medium pretty soon, and I’m thinking of some new ways to do Scary Story Time. Maybe you’ll be able to listen to me tell you one soon!

Thanks for reading, guys, I hope you enjoyed the stories, and feel free to talk about them or send me some either in the comments or at WillAndBobby@gmail.com!

See you next month!

WBKE – Episode 32: Future Sex with Kelly Bourdet

GWAR once said: “The planet Earth is the only place you can find crack.”

That being said, A NEW EPISODE OF WILL AND BOBBY KNOW EVERYTHING IS UP! Is a podcast done in episodes? Or is it just shows? Anyway, in this episode Kelly Bourdet of motherboard.vice joins us to discuss Sex, Technology, a wedding, and which one of us is dumber.

As always, like us on facebook

Find us on itunes

Listen to it zooming live to your ears right… here!

Blow us a kiss on the super cool STITCHER ap for smartphones everywhere

And email us directly at willandbobby@gmail.com.

With all of this information beaming in to your eyeballs it’s no wonder you want to shut them, and there’s no better time to open your ears to our sweet, delectable voices than now! Can you tell that I (bobby) wrote this weeks information?

Goodnight!

WBKE – Episode 31: Curses and Comedians

This week on Will and Bobby Know Everything we’re joined by our good friend Mike Schin in a conversation that ranges from how Poltergeist is an awesome movie to how much open-mic nights suck.
We also get an amazing horror story from Mike, Bobby tells some jokes, and we play one of the most engrossing, horrifying video games in recent memory: Slender.

Check this show out, guys, it’s a fucking hoot:

Click here to listen from your browser!

Click here to go to the iTunes page, or just listen to the show on the free Apple/Android app Stitcher!

And remember to “like” our Facebook Page, follow us on Twitter (@WillAndBobby), email WillAndBobby@gmail.com with any comments or questions, and donate (if you want)!

In other news, Bobby and I are working hard on some fun new stuff! More info soon, hopefully!

Episode 32 next week!

Creative People

There’s something wrong with creative people.
I’m sitting in my office right now, ostensibly because I planned to write tonight. Every day for the past 25 years (exaggeration), I’ve had a million ideas bouncing around my skull. Now I can’t seem to think of a single one.

On any other night I’d be in bed, trying to sleep. And failing.

I hate going to sleep. I always feel like there’s something better I could be doing.

And so usually I try to invent a story. It’s easy. One minute I’ll be telling myself a story about anything (You get to heaven and it’s filled with Nazis, what happens?), and then the next minute I’m waking up in the morning. It’s simple.

Over time I take these stupid, simple, one-sentence stories and try to expand them into a full narrative (I know what happens with the Nazis in heaven, by the way). It happens over the course of my day or week. I tell myself I need to remember to write it down. I never do. And so, invariably, I find myself planning a night of writing, only to sit in front of two monitors, a keyboard, an iPad, a notebook, and a pen, having no use for any of them.

There’s so much I want to do.

I want to do everything.

I want to write a TV show, I want to make a movie, I want to write a novel, I want to stage a play, a one man show, I want to make comic books, record a radio play, have a podcast, a book of short stories. I’m full of content, don’t you see? It’s bursting out of me!

So where the fuck is it now?

Why am I sitting here writing about how I have nothing to write about?

There’s something wrong with creative people. I see it all the time.

People with mindless grins on their faces tell me about how they want me to write a movie with them. They come to me a week later with an idea for a series of videos. We should write sketches together. Today I’m writing scripts for a TV show I came up with!

Make up your fucking mind!

If your aspiration is to do everything, then great! You still need to start with a singular goal, though. I constantly see people with a bucket of aspiration, but no drop of sweat. It’s irritating.

What are you working on?

What are you making? Why are you talking about 5 million random projects when I’ve never seen evidence of anything created?

It’s a pain in the ass. I do the same thing. I tell myself I don’t.

It’s a lot of fun to create an idea, but not fun to slog through the work the idea requires.

I want to write a TV show. That’s what I want to do. Why do I have to write a million bullshit letters and send them out to agents?

I don’t want to write letters, I want to write a TV show! Someone give me a TV show!

My laser is too broad right now, I need to narrow it down.

I’m annoyed. Maybe it’s a writer’s block night. Maybe that’s it.

Maybe I’m just lazy.

For the past few weeks I’ve been in a creative hot-spot. I’ve performed stand-up comedy on Wednesdays, recorded the podcast on Thursdays, edited the show on the weekends, and I even got a little job in a murder mystery theater playing a character from 80’s and 90’s sitcoms (I don’t want to talk about it). I’ve been off that schedule for ONE WEEK and I feel lost. I want to talk! I want to generate content! I want to make something or do something! I want to do it so much that it makes me so frustrated that all I can do is sit in a chair and think about how much I want to do all of it!

Why isn’t anyone breaking down my door begging to hear my thoughts on something? I’m furious at you.

I want you focused on me right now. I’ll perform. And the minute I start performing, I’ll be uncomfortable with the attention.

There’s something wrong with me.

Will and Bobby Wrote Something: Part Four

Click here to start back at Part One!

Back in Part Three of Will and Bobby Wrote Something, I started explaining another show Bobby and I came up with, called Edinburg Falls.

I ended Part Three with the stunning (and unbelievably stupid) revelation that the town of Edinburg is sinking into the ground because it’s built on the head of a gigantic screw.

Seriously. We came up with that idea.

It seems like the kind of idea you see on a sitcom where two morons are writing a TV show. They honestly think that what they’ve come up with is brilliant and clever. Bobby and I very seriously thought this was a smart idea. At least it’s unique. As stupid as it is, there’s still a part of me that thinks aspects of it are kind of cool. For instance, as the town sinks, it also spins (obviously), though our characters wouldn’t have learned that for a season or two.

As the city sinks, it reveals caverns within the surrounding walls. Somehow the town is settled what looks like a mile up in a mountain. Stupid.

I don’t think we ever 100% decided what would be in the caverns, but our ideas ranged from rooms full of the fossils of legendary monsters, to secret control rooms manned by megalomaniacs in charge of the screw. Overall, I know the concept of the show is laughably ridiculous, but there’s something about this show that still captures my imagination.

Maybe it’s a concept that just hasn’t taken it’s final form yet. In my super-limited experience with writing, I’ve always found that there’s no such thing as a final draft. Even with the comedy Bobby and I started with, which I love with every cell in my brain, there are little things here or there that can be changed. As a writer, every time you read your own work, you find something cringe-worthy. There are huge problems with Edinburg Falls, but I have to believe that there is still an honest core to it. The basic idea of the show still grabs me:

A hack writer goes away to a small secluded town in the hopes of finding his integrity. The town is filled with a million mysteries and may serve as the birthplace of all the world’s nightmares.

I love it still.

Now let me reveal to you a little more of what we wrote. Let me tell you what’s at stake…It’s worse than the screw thing.

You see, not only is the town of Edinburg resting on the head of a gigantic screw (which turns once a year), but when that screw taps into the Earth’s core… volcanoes erupt around the globe.

I’m serious.

That was our idea.

Leave me alone.

Read the treatment and mock us if you must, but I swear to god there’s something I love about this:

Edinburg Falls – Treatment

Thanks for reading guys, next month I’m going to wrap up the story of Edinburg Falls by posting the outline Bobby and I wrote for a possible pilot episode. It’s a doozy. I’ll also start explaining the next TV show we came up with, which is so completely amazing I can’t wait to write about it. I’m not being sarcastic. It makes up for the mess that is Edinburg Falls.

Click here to move on to Will and Bobby Wrote Something: Part Five!